A recruiter once asked me a nosy ass question, and this is what I learned.

You can find a video at the bottom of the page.

You know the story. You fill the application, they hit you up for an interview, then you learn about each other and figure out if this works. No, I’m not talking about dating. I’m talking about applying for jobs. But in a way, they are exactly the same.

A few years ago, I talked to a hiring manager about a position I was interested in. Things went well until she asked me a strange question. “Are you interviewing for other opportunities right now?”

I was a little surprised. This was early in my tech career so the only jobs I interviewed for before were administrative and retail. They would only ask about availability to work. But to ask me if I’m interviewing for other positions? Rude and nosy as hell!

Let’s go back to our dating analogy. Say you are on a blind date. Neither of you know much about the other person so the date is your chance to see if you match. You exchange names, where you went to school, where you work, and five minutes into the evening, they ask if you’re seeing anyone else.

You haven’t even eaten your bread!

In other words, when recruiters ask this question, it’s an invasion of privacy. Not convinced? Let me tell you my response.

Like I said, this was a new one for me. So I told her no and asked why she wanted to know. Her response? “Oh, I just want to get an idea of your availability for scheduling additional interviews”

…What?

What does that have to do with the price of bread? We already scheduled a time and date for this current interview. And I didn’t share this info with her as of yet.

Why on Earth would she need to know if I’m interviewing with other companies when she didn’t know for the first interview? And besides, we still haven’t finished THIS interview. It’s only been five minutes! For my non-believers, let’s go back to the date.

Your date asks you if you’re seeing someone else five minutes in. You ask them why they need to know and they say “Oh, I just want to get an idea of your availability for scheduling additional dates”. Not so romantic anymore, is it?

Getting back to the topic of interviews, recruiters objectively have more information on you than you do on the company. All you know is the position title and the requirements. They already know your name, work history, availability, and whatever other information you filled out when you applied.

If this were a date, all they’d need to do at this point is get to know YOU. But it’s not enough for some. They want you to focus on this position and this one alone as if it’s the only true opportunity left on Earth.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

That’s right. I said it. This question is perfectly fine for THEM to ask. If you ask about them interviewing other applicants, you won’t like the answer they give you. This might be a way for them to judge how committed you are to this process. But that’s not a true test of commitment. Let’s go back to dinner one more time.

Let’s do things a little different this time. Say you’re on this date, and you’re getting to know each other. Five minutes in, you start to wonder whether or not this is going to lead to more dates or a relationship in the future. Then you think about your journey thus far.

The countless hours you’ve spent learning your craft. The studying, the projects you’ve finished, the lessons you learned from sitting with mentors, and all the greatest moments that define YOU.

You realize it doesn’t matter where this goes because you’re going to continue to build yourself. Then you take a bite of some bread.

Okay, maybe we ended up back on the recruitment topic. But you get the idea. Remember that you are responsible for your growth no matter how the interviews go. If they ask about other companies, tell them you’re only focused on this opportunity at this time. Learn what you can from this interview, and get back to hardening your skills.

Because there will be many other companies, but only one YOU.

For more on this, watch the YouTube video below.

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